I am not writing weekly on this blog. I think I need to figure out why I am not doing something I claimed I want to do and then come up with a deal that I can make with myself.
Is part of it the fact that I know nobody is reading this? That could be a part of it. We all derive some pleasure from sharing aspects of ourselves. But if nobody is reading my thoughts then they feel like I shouldn't have even bothered.
I guess that's why I had no problem making time for long posts on Facebook - I know someone would read what I had to say. Unfortunately FB became a rather unfun place. I hate the word "toxic" because of how cliched it has become but I have yet to come up with a better word to describe how I feel when I make the mistake of checking in on how people I care about are doing.
So what do I need to do to get myself here? I need to negotiate and set an achievable goal. Off the top of my head I think writing here once a week is achievable. I can write here friday evenings. I'm more likely to do it when I have finished teaching than I am on a Sunday night.
This isn't to say that I am unhappy with myself. I have been holding to my plan for daily writing. Right now I have about 10,000 words. I think I will be able to achieve my goal of 100,000 words completed for a novel by my birthday.
That is my big goal for 2022 - write my first novel. Then over the summer I will work on making it the best possible version of the novel that I can make it. I would be lying if I said I don't care if people buy it but to some extent that is true. I do think that the best reward for completing my writing to is get to write better. The reward for doing anything well is the opportunity to do more of it.